Kakak, I think I understand Rajwin. And the things he's going through.



Valentine's Day, was, half ok, and a little not.
I hope you see that I have never made such effort before;
I have never done something like that before.
I hope you see that this one is not because I'm forced to.

The other day, I was sulking about 2 plans that didn't go well.
I planned this (VDay), it didn't go well all the way, but you know what, I don't care.
I'm not disheartened or discouraged because I can't give up.
I can't and I won't and I don't want to give up.
I'm gonna go all the way even if it means getting out of my comfort zone.
And even though today's plan didn't go 100% well, I'm glad I got out of my comfort zone.
For you, I'll go further.


But I see this 'pattern'.
Everything that happened before, is now happening again but the other way round.
Lets hope the exact same thing happens except the ending.
Because, when the chasing reached a point, the chaser managed to get his 'chasee'.
Think tutor and tutee.
Please, everything, but the ending.


2 months ago, the last time I caught up with my good friend Wandi, he told me to "Follow your heart and not your brain".
Right now, I know this what my heart tells me.
But let me add to it. Follow your heart with a bit of brain.
And I'll do the best I can.


Another thing.
Sometimes you think that what you're doing is whats right.
You think the decision you made is the right one.
And sometimes, its because people say its the right one. And you go ahead for some support.
I think my life has been made based on that.
So, I'm trying to figure out this thing about decisions, because I surely had made alot of wrong ones.
There's alot of decisions to make right now. I know I have to be really careful because one wrong step and I might lose it all.
So, please, I don't want that to happen.



And I keep realising more and more...




And with everything, all I want to keep asking is,"What about you?"